Elayne Boosler Quotes

Ever notice that Soup for One is eight aisles away from Party Mix?
— Elayne Boosler <http://quotes.miraclesalad.com/?quote=1068>Email this quote Permanent link to this quote

I have six locks on my door all in a row. When I go out, I lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three.
— Elayne Boosler <http://quotes.miraclesalad.com/?quote=1069>Email this quote Permanent link to this quote

I'm just a person trapped inside a woman's body.
— Elayne Boosler <http://quotes.miraclesalad.com/?quote=1070>Email this quote Permanent link to this quote

I've never been married, but I tell people I'm divorced so they won't think something's wrong with me.
— Elayne Boosler <http://quotes.miraclesalad.com/?quote=1071>Email this quote Permanent link to this quote

The Vatican is against surrogate mothers. Good thing they didn't have that rule when Jesus was born.
— Elayne Boosler <http://quotes.miraclesalad.com/?quote=1072>Email this quote Permanent link to this quote

When the sun comes up, I have morals again.
— Elayne Boosler <http://quotes.miraclesalad.com/?quote=1073>Email this quote Permanent link to this quote

When women are depressed, they eat or go shopping. Men invade another country. It's a whole different way of thinking.
— Elayne Boosler <http://quotes.miraclesalad.com/?quote=1074>Email this quote Permanent link to this quote

Wouldn't it be great if you could only get AIDS by giving money to television preachers?
— Elayne Boosler <http://quotes.miraclesalad.com/?quote=1075>Email this quote Permanent link to this quote

Listed 8 quotes.