Johnny Carson Quotes

A two-pound turkey and a fifty-pound cranberry - that's Thanksgiving dinner at Three-Mile Island.
— Johnny Carson <http://quotes.miraclesalad.com/?quote=2758>Email this quote Permanent link to this quote

Democracy means that anyone can grow up to be president, and anyone who doesn't grow up can be vice president.
— Johnny Carson <http://quotes.miraclesalad.com/?quote=2754>Email this quote Permanent link to this quote

For three days after death hair and fingernails continue to grow but phone calls taper off.
— Johnny Carson <http://quotes.miraclesalad.com/?quote=2751>Email this quote Permanent link to this quote

I was so naive as a kid I used to sneak behind the barn and do nothing.
— Johnny Carson <http://quotes.miraclesalad.com/?quote=2755>Email this quote Permanent link to this quote

If it weren't for Philo T. Farnsworth, inventor of television, we'd still be eating frozen radio dinners.
— Johnny Carson <http://quotes.miraclesalad.com/?quote=2753>Email this quote Permanent link to this quote

If life was fair, Elvis would be alive and all the impersonators would be dead.
— Johnny Carson <http://quotes.miraclesalad.com/?quote=2756>Email this quote Permanent link to this quote

Nancy Reagan fell down and broke her hair.
— Johnny Carson <http://quotes.miraclesalad.com/?quote=2752>Email this quote Permanent link to this quote

She doesn't need a steak knife. Rona [Barrett] cuts her food with her tongue.
— Johnny Carson <http://quotes.miraclesalad.com/?quote=2750>Email this quote Permanent link to this quote

The Hollywood tradition I like best is called "sucking up to the stars."
— Johnny Carson <http://quotes.miraclesalad.com/?quote=2757>Email this quote Permanent link to this quote

Listed 9 quotes.